Learn the impossible task of getting the
right balance in your management life between the three worlds - your business world, your family world and
your social world
We have only one life, but we live in three overlapping
worlds—our business world, our family world, and our other social world.
Imagine bringing your spouse and kids to a meeting with seven of your
salespersonnel.
Sitting off to your left, Miss Wright asks the question on the minds
of all her fellow sales colleagues, “Why did you bring your family to our
meeting today? Will they be playing any sort of role in our discussion?”
You simply respond, “No, they’re just here so I can tend to
their needs.”
Of course, this is a highly unlikely scenario. You don’t bring
your family
into work with you every day. However, Heather Howitt does. Howitt, the CEO
of Oregon Chai in Portland, Oregon, balances motherhood with her
responsibility of running an eleven million dollar manufacturer of tea
lattes. “Our office is a very casual place. We’ve got a family element going
on here.”
Living in the rain soaked city of Portland, 32-year-old Howitt often arrives
at her office lightly splattered with mud. She often spends her lunch break
taking her one-year-old son, Sawyer, to a nearby park, or to her nanny who
takes him home. On other days, she simply places him in his crib in her
office.
With the growth of her company, Howitt hired some key executives including a
chief operating officer to manage operations and finance. She also delegated
the sales calls that she used to make herself. “I used to come in at 6 a.m.
and make calls nonstop,” she explained. “I don’t have to do that anymore.”
Howitt positioned herself in a way so that she is no longer personally
over-worked or over-challenged by her daily responsibilities at the company.
She balanced her business and private life. She not only recognized her
strategic contribution to the success of Oregon Chai, but she also
appreciates her unique role in the life of her young son.
As an entrepreneur or a business executive, you must give your best in two
entirely different worlds. The needs of your business and the needs of your
family and friends compete for your time and attention. And both expect the
very best from you. Heather Howitt found one way to do it; you may have
another way.
To enjoy both the rewards of business success and family fulfillment, you
need to constantly work to keep the right balance. To successfully tackle the
challenges of a fast-growing company, you need all the personal resources
that come from a balanced life. “How do you develop a balanced business
personality?”
Some entrepreneurial executives suffer from dangerous imbalance. Others
achieve top excellence in maintaining a right balance. “Early in my career,
I use to think that entrepreneurship was more an art than a science, that it
was a gift or something,” says Cherrill Farnsworth. “I don’t believe that
anymore.” Entrepreneurial leadership is not some automatic personality trait
or some artistic talent some people are just born with and others happen to
lack. Instead, entrepreneurial effectiveness with a balanced life is a
dynamic process that you must constantly work at. If you don’t keep
developing and nurturing your entrepreneurial personality, it might just
die. Then, only drastic action might revive that entrepreneurial spirit.
That’s exactly what happened to Sam T. Goodner. His software company, the
Austin-based Catapult Systems Corp., ranked 77th among the fastest growing
companies in America while Goodner served as the founding CEO. At age 33,
Goodner decided to step down as CEO of Catapult to take on the new challenge
of serving as CEO of Inquisite Inc., a Catapult subsidiary that sells
software over the Internet. But Goodner soon found his new digs to be
“harsher, more spartan” than what he was accustomed to. “Half of it is
actually under ground,” he explained, describing his much less attractive
new office space.
But Goodner was not complaining. After all, it was his own idea to leave the
comfortable CEO position of Catapult with a staff of 115, to head Inquisite
Inc., with only 20 employees. But now something was wrong. To be sure, there
were plenty of challenges to attend to. The phone rang for his attention,
paper kept filling the “in” box, and email messages steadily came in from
employees, venders, and customers. Every day, and every hour, urgent
decisions had to be made, so much so that anyone in his shoes could have
been overwhelmed by the “tyranny of the urgent.”
But increasingly, he felt like he was only reacting to demands and not
taking a visionary proactive role any longer. And too often, long hours of
work would crowd out what he’d prefer to do in his home and personal life.
Even worse, he realized that even if he could experience any gratification
in his personal world, it could not make up for what was missing in his
business world.
“I had none of my entrepreneurial creativity left,” Goodner reflected. “I
was falling back on what was easy. You know that’s happening when you start
just going through your email all day long.” Recognizing that his former
entrepreneurial spirit was gone, he resigned and hired a new CEO to head the
company.
Perhaps Goodner had already achieved financial independence and had other
worthy goals to pursue in life. In that case, relinquishing his CEO position
could be the best decision to make. But could there have been another way to
recover his entrepreneurial spirit with a right balance of attention to
work, family, and friends?
Entrepreneurial functioning can range from the low level, “You are
personally over worked and over challenged”—to the most desirable level,
“You regularly implement action plans to improve every aspect of your life.”
The lowest level of functioning leaves your company endangered. Top
management is personally over worked and over challenged. The unrelenting
urgent matters of your business seem to demand so much of your time that you
go to work earlier and earlier, and stay later and later into the evening.
You are like a runaway tire, rolling down a steep hill, turning faster and
faster and faster until finally, you run out of control and then crash.
“There must be a better way.” And you are right! There is.
“Over the past three years, I’ve been able to identify gradually what things
I can give to my CPA, or to my bookkeeper, or to my office manager. I read
about people who work 60 or 90 hours a week and build multimillion-dollar
businesses at the expense of their health and family. Those aren’t success
stories in my book. Success is having a multimillion-dollar business and the
other stuff, too,” says 40-year-old Tom Melaragno, founder of the
$7.6-million Compri Consulting, an IT consulting and staffing firm founded
in 1992. Although he put in 12-hour days when he started the business, today
he works just 8 or 9 hours and makes sure he’s there to watch his two sons’
Little League baseball games in the summer and coach the older one’s
football team in the fall.
Taking a proactive stance means you take control to invest your life wisely.
Scott Tinley is an extraordinary triathlete who has competed in more than
350 triathlons including 19 Hawaii Ironman triathlons. The triathlon is an
endurance sport involving swimming, bicycling, and running. Amazingly,
Tinley has won nearly 100 races. “This sport is about a combination of
personal challenge, camaraderie, and achievement of self-knowledge,” Tinley
explains.
Tinley is more than just an athlete; he is also a successful entrepreneur.
He co-founded a company that produced athletic clothing—Tinley Performance
Wear. He and his partners built the business over 8 years, reaching about
$10 million in sales. In 1992, they sold the company to Reebok. But even
more than just being a triathlete and a wealthy businessman, Tinley is also
appreciated as a writer, traveler, father, and husband. As productive as he
is in many areas of life, he has not lost sight of the balance he needs.
Tinley explains the work-life balance he maintained over his 20-year career
as an athlete, husband, father, and entrepreneur: “A lot of people have this
image of self-management, that it means you have to drive yourself and force
yourself to get things done without somebody looking over your shoulder. It
is actually quite the opposite: You have to force yourself to have the right balance
in your life and be efficient in all things you do.”
He has recognized the importance of what he calls a “precarious right balance
between preparation, competition, professionalism, support systems, and the
world of family, friends, and paying the rent.” He has not lost sight of the
fact that among the best things in life are family, friends, and a quiet run
in the park.
This is the kind of balance that John Chambers, CEO of Cisco Systems has
also achieved. An interviewer, asked, “What would you like to have
accomplished and what’s next after Cisco?”
“The most important thing to me is my family, and that doesn’t change. My
wife of 25 years is a right balance for me. When I get down, which I
occasionally do, she brings me up, and on rare occasions if I get a little
bit too confident she brings me back down to earth too.”
“I’ve got two kids I’m tremendously proud of and they are my life; so my
family is first, second, and third in terms of my priorities. And when I’m
at home, as my wife reminds me when I walk in the door, I’m not the CEO
anymore. So at home, I’m like anybody else. Carrying out the garbage,
changing the light bulbs, and so on.”
Chambers illustrates how a right balance between one’s executive
performance and other dimensions of life can contribute to both personal
fulfillment and business success. An awareness of the need for the right balance has
prompted many executives to make some crucial decisions in their day-to-day
business and personal life that protected them from failure so they could
just become an “enduring survivor.”
But, no doubt, you want more from life than just maintaining a mere survivor
level. You want to excel as an executive leader, and also thrive, not merely
survive, in your personal life. So beyond the awareness that comes from
self-assessment and evaluation of your priorities, there are additional
steps to take in order to reach the top level of having all that life can
offer.
Forty-year-old Mark Holland is the founder of a thriving company, Ascend HR
Solutions. At the beginning of every workweek he pulls out a message that
reads: “Wendi is the most important person in my life. My family comes
before work and other activities. I live my religion. I provide the
financial security for my family. Our home is a retreat from the challenges
of the world. I have a positive attitude, looking for and developing the
strength in others. I help people develop and grow, including, when
appropriate, holding them accountable. The outdoors provide a needed
sanctuary and retreat for me.”
Holland wrote this personal mission statement in 1998 following a major
crisis in his business. That year the firm lost $800,000, which caused
significant problems in his partnership. Holland experienced so much stress
that he lost nearly 20 pounds.
Then a business seminar inspired him to write down his life mission
statement. Holland admits that the seminar gave him “a good smack upside the
head.” He resolved to never again sacrifice his family and health for the
sake of his business.
Over a two-year period, Holland’s personal mission statement grew into a
life plan for himself and his wife. “We asked, ‘What are the important
things? What do we want to have happen before we die?’” Now they have a
30-year planned life itinerary on a spreadsheet that covers college savings,
retirement, vacations, exercise regiments, relating to God and spiritual
activities, work goals, personal growth, and personal relationships.
Holland constantly improved himself by regularly pursuing clear, written
personal goals and life motto. Writing down your personal goals and a life
motto not only helps you clarify the kind of balance you want to achieve,
but also gives you a written reference to check week by week. Many people
refine their goals and motto over several year’s time.
Mark Holland and his wife, Wendi take long walks together at least twice a
week with their two-year-old daughter on Mark’s shoulders and their
five-month-old son snuggled in Wendi’s front pack. Once a month, on one of
those walks, they discuss and review their life plan thoroughly. “The plan
is dynamic—it changes. It’s been really good for getting our relationship
and our lives back to where they needed to be,” Holland says.
This practice of regularly reviewing their life plan indicates that Holland
progressed to the highest level of functioning under balancing ones
managerial life. At this top level, you constantly implement action plans to
improve the right balance of all five dimensions of your life.
Paul N. Howell, CEO of Howell Corporation, named an additional crucial
characteristic of a successfully balanced entrepreneurial executive: “The
willingness and demonstrated ability to conduct him—or herself—on a high
moral and ethical level in both business and personal life. Without it,
success is uncertain and short lived.”
At the highest level, people who interact with you can see the sterling
qualities of your servant leadership. Your executive actions are guided by
clear plans that continually balance and rebalance all the dimensions of
successful living:
1. Executive Success: Servant leadership, management skills, and
career development.
2. Loving Relationships: Serving family, friends, and the needy.
3. Healthy Lifestyle: Regular exercise, good diet, and regular
medical care.
4. Emotional Well-being: Stress management, recreation, and
psychological stability.
5. Spiritual Maturity: Ethical character, commitment to ultimate
values, peace with God, and devoting oneself to life’s greatest
spiritual priorities.
At this level, you regularly “retreat” from your usual executive
responsibilities to rethink your personal mission, vision, and action plans.
You deliberately make a continual concerted effort to maintain the right
balance you need for a fulfilling life.
“Balance Your Managerial Life” was excerpted from There’s Room at the Top:
33 Dynamics for Managerial Excellence, 2004, pages 44-51.
© Copyright 2004, by Uxbridge Publishing Ltd. Co. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Matthew Rekers, M.B.A., is the President and CEO of 33Dynamics LLC. He
previously served as the President and COO of Rekers and Company LLC. Mr.
Rekers earned his B.S. in Business Administration, cum laude, from the
University of South Carolina with a major in accounting, and his M.B.A.
degree from Winthrop University. He is a business consultant for 33Dynamics
Consulting LLC. He can be contacted at matt@33dynamics.com. Visit our
website at www.33dynamics.com.
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